The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
