I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
