a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
