My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
