:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
