I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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