How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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