never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
