she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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