I'm jealous of your bromance
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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