just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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