JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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