Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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