i think my tv is drunk
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
