That's intense
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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