At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
