And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
