thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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