What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
