Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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