his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
