Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
