FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you had me at cake vodka
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
