So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
