You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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