Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
