Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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