I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
