wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
