i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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