So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
