He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I puked a lego.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
