my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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