Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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