i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
