Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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