The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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