so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
