So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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