if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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