my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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