somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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