my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
