I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
