He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
They took my balls.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
