Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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