white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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