I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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