What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
