My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
