We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We're too hungover to prance.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
