just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
