i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
